In my dreams
by tiptoe28
Summary: Dramione. Malfoy accepted Dumbledors offer and swaped sides. Hermione must keep an eye on him in her dreams. Book 7 never happened. Rated T for later chapters and some language. Told from Hermiones POV
1. Chapter 1

„Hermione?... Hermione?... Hey you're here?", I heard Rons voice at last. I guess I was so in to my thoughts that I did not hear him for about five minutes . I blinked my eyes and finaly spoke to him:

„Yeah, I'm sorry. I guess I was lost in my thoughts", I smiled.

„So? Since you can hear and all... what Dumbledore wanted from you?" Harry asked me full with excitement.

I thought abot what to answer for a while. I could not figure it out – what was better – to lie or to tell the truth. Harry will be so pissed, I knew that. Well... Here goes the truth...

„He has a mission for me. Sort of...."

„A mission?" Harry and Ron said togother, their eyes sparkled and they leaned closer to me.

„Yeah. It's abot Malfoy."

Harry raised his eyebrow but kept his mouth shut.

„You know how he's on our side right now and everything? Well Dumbledore don't trust him.."

„Ha! I knew it!" Harry interrupted me. Huge smile was spreading on to his face, like on a childs face when Christmas is coming.

„Oh grow up", I spat at him and he stoped smiling at once.

„Sorry", he murmured.

„As I was saying.. Dumbledore does not trust him completely.. Harry could you please stop smiling like a baby? You are distracting me! Well he fears also for his life.. Dumbledore thinks that Death eaters will try to contact Malfoy so they could get to him and kill him."

„That would not be a big loss", Ron murmured and I gleared at him.

„Honestly could you both stop it? Dumbledore wants me to keep an eye on Malfoy in a very weird way..."

„You need to hide in his closet so you could spy on him?" Ron chuckled.

„Or maybe under his bed? We all know that Malfoy is having his own room so he could be safer than in Slytherins comon room. So he must be lonely. You could help him with that if you hided under his bed!" Harry laughted.

„If you will keep doing this I will not tell you what's my mission about" I pouted at them and crosed my arms across my chest.

„Sorry", they both mubled.

Oh well, they are my best friends...

„I will see him in my dreams", I wispered.

„How? What?" Ron asked in a high piched voice.

Oh... Ron and his jealousy. The thought of me dreaming about another bloke makes him suffer I guess.

„There is a spell and a special dream potion. I must drink the potion and then say the spell. After I'll fall asleep I will mentaly, not physically go to a place were Malfoy will be. As if I dream of him. He wil not see me, but I will see him", I stoped talking and looked at boys with their mouths hanging wide open.

„Honestly..", I shook my head.

„Why you? It's Malfoy after all. It's not safe," Harry raised his voice.

„It's only Malfoy Harry and I think it would not be safe if you were there alone with him."

„What? Hermione what are you..?"

„I'm just saying, that just because it's Malfoy you could not controle your hate towards him and you would use this mission to somehow hurt him", Harry gaped at me with disbelieve.

„Oh come on Harry,You know I'm right."

He just looked at me for a while.

„Are you saying that Dumbledore would not trust me with Malfoys well being?"

„Yes", I breathed with relief when I saw that my answer will not make him shout. He just thought about it for a while and shook his head.

„Why not me then?" Ron asked.

„Oh Ron ,we all know that you would end up traped in these dreams forever becauce you would say the spell wrong or mixed the potion wrong. And then we would have to save you from seeing Malfoy in your dreams forever," I smiled at him and he smirked at me.

„I guess you're right. But I don't like the thought about you dreaming about him."

„Ron, it will not be like that. I'll just keep an eye on him. That's all", I touched his arm lightly to comfort him. Rons ears turned bright red and I smiled.

„When are you going to start you mission?" he was worried a bit.

„Actually I'm going to start it right now."

I got up to my feet. Said my goodnights to everyone and went to my room. Thank God I was alone. I mixed that damn potion after instructions Snape wrote to me and drunk it. Yuk, it did taste like crap. I got under my covers, wispered the spell and waited to be draged in to Malfoys world. Oh the joy.


	2. Chapter 2

At first it was rather odd. To be at Malfoys room for example and watch him sleep. Or eat. Or write letters. I never got tired at least. These dreams did not affect my sleep and I was so thankful for that. It was like my soul or mind whent away from me in these dreams and only my body stayed in my bed. I was there. With him. I mean Malfoy. And he was so sad all the time. I guess it was not easy when your father was in jail and Voldemort tried to kill you. Yeah, I admit – I felt sorry for him most of the time I was in his room with him.

I always stood behind him when Malfoy wrote his letters. To read them. I felt so guilty. The letters were ment for his mother. He never complained to her and talked only about his school work. Just simple things.

In the corridors of Hogwarts, well, that was a different thing. He was selfish and rude to everybody like always, but I think, that was his mask.

So, today I walked in on him when he was being mean to an eight year old from my house and strangest thing happened.

„Hey!" I shouted at him and he backed off the boy at once.

„Maybe next time pick at someone your own size", I spat at him.

He just smirked at me and I wanted to cast some ugly spell at him so bad! My arm itched for my wand.

Malfoy slowly came closer to me. He looked in my eyes and said the last thing I expected him to say. Well about what I expected... My first guess would be – back of Mudblood or something like that, but Malfoy almost wispered to me:

„Saw me in your dreams lately?"

And went away. I stood there in the corridor like an idiot, not able to move. Just blinking my eyes.

What?.... How?......... Did he knew? These were the words that flowed through my mind.

Someone bumped in to me but I barely noticed. Two weeks I was watching over him in my dreams and I always, ALWAYS made sure he can't see me. I was invisible because I wanted to be. There was a choice. I could show myself to him if I wanted to. Well he would see only a light reflection of me. He could not touch me, or feel me. He could see trough me. But I never did that. Did I?

There was a way to find out. I found a will in me to move my legs and I ran to my room. I could barely breath from runing. I mixed the potion and lay on my bed not bothering to change my clothes. It was only six in the evening and I hoped no one will disturbe me.

Malfoy was in his room alone. I walked past him but remained invisible.

He was working on an essay. Malfoy wrote on a parchment quite furiously and then he spoke in a cold voice.

„I know you are here. I can't see you but I can feel your presence Granger."

My hand flew to my mouth as a small „Oh" escaped from my lips.

There was no need to stay invisible now. He knew I was here.

„But how?" I asked not only to my self but out loud too.

„Well hello there", Malfoy smirked at me, well at my misty form.

„I always knew Dumbledore will send you. From all you three he would not trust Potter with my life and weasel probable would kill him self trying this spell. Am I right?"

I kept my mouth shut, but he knew he was right.

„Was I a good object for observation?" he sneered.

„How?" that was the only word I could force trough my lips.

„I heard Dumbledore and Snape talking about this spell. It was easy to sum two plus two you know. I understood at once that they are talking about me and it was so clear that Dumbledore would send one of you. Aaahhh the golden trio. Pets of the headmaster."

He knew from the beginning. I thought about it and it was not so bad. I felt better actualy, because I did not felt like peeper anymore. At least, not so much of a peeper more like an observer. I liked that name much more.

„Why you did not tell me the first time I was here?" I wondered.

„I started to feel rather lonely this week and I thougt I could use some company. I find insulting you a good way to pass my time, you know," he smirked at me. „And, if I must choose between you and Lord Voldemort, I better hang out with you."

„Thanks for the compliment, I guess", I said a bit sarcastic.

„You must be full with joy right now Granger! A pure blood gave you a compliment", he mocked me.

„You know I wonder...", I lingered on my words, thinking. He waited for me to continue and said nothing.

„If you knew this before I even begun to come here, why you did not complain to Snape? I bet with some voice raising or whining you could make him talk Dumledore out of this. You are Snapes pet student " ,

I made accent on the last sentence. A small revenge for calling us the pet students of Dumbledore.

„Actually I did. And Snape gave me two options. Put up with you or with the Lord Voldemort. And like I said before..."

I interrupted him : „You chose me."


	3. Chapter 3

„Malfoy you are writing it all wrong. Shortsnout snakes are very venomous, not slightly. And could you enlighten me how snakes can be slightly venomous?" I stood right behind Malfoy as he wrote his essey for the Defence the dark arts class. He just made the noise „Pff" and continued to write.

I did not gave up. I never did. Especially when someone was writing an essey and was writing it wrong. That buged me.

„Malfoy!" I tried again. „It's written in the book. Could you just open it for once?

I actually stomped my foot to the ground like a little girl. He annoyed me that much. Honestly , would his arms fall of if he opened his text book?

„Nonsence Granger. As a matter of fact the Shortsnout snakes live in my garden at home and they are harmless" , he was absolutely certain.

„You think that Shortsnout snakes are harmless just because they live in your garden? Are you mental?" I shooked my head in disbilieve. He was, was he?

„Yes. I played with them when I was a kid."

„Well that explains a lot," I sighted. „I bet they bit you couple of times and the venom is killing your brain cells one by one now, ferret. Thats why you are so stupid." I snaped.

I tried to take the Dark arts text book from Malfoys desk but failed. I could not touch things. I was like a ghost in Malfoys world. He noticed my attemt and laughted.

„I bet you're so pissed right now because you can't open that damn book," he mocked me.

„Fuck off!"

Well he done it. He made me say the F word. I wanted to curse him so bad, but I did not have my wand with me as it could help me.

„You are pissed", he laughted. „Hearing that word coming from you is actually very funny."

He almost fell of his chair. I wanted to push him of it.

„I'm not pissed about the stupid book, I'm pissed because I can't srangle you", I breathed heavely. I was so angry. At him because he provoked me, at myself because I let him to provoke me. Just breath, I said to my self. It will pass. The urge to kill will pass. It's just Malfoy. Yeah, JUST Malfoy and he's stupid.

„You're just gonna lay here and do nothing today Malfoy? The essey is do tomorrow morning", I was irritated.

„Shut up Granger. I can't concentrate when you're looking over my shoulder like a harpy". He took the book from his bed side table and threw it at me.

„Read this. Oh I forgot. You can't", he stucked out his tongue at me.

The book flew trough me but did not hurt me . I fighted with the need to strangle him again.

„If you would do your homework properly, I would not look over your shoulder like a harpy", I spat.

„So you admit you're looking like one", he smirked.

„Grow up!"

„How can you do all your homework?" Malfoy sat up in his bed, sudenly interested.

„I meen, you're here every evening. When do you study?"

I did all of my studying in the mornings. I went to bed so early because of this prat and woke up at 5 a.m. everytime. At first I was scared to leave him, but he slept like a baby in the mornings. I don't think that even Gregory Goil could wake him up if he jumped on him. So it did not bother me at all to wake up and do my homework untill breakfast. But Malfoy was in no need to find this out.

„It's none of your busines. I can deal with my homework so you need not to worrie."

„Oh I'm not worried about it. I hoped that you will break in to tears and whine how much you miss your books", he laughted and I gleared at him.

And so it went on. For weeks we insulted each other. In classes or corridors he paid no attention to me. I guess insulting me every evening was enough for him. We barely noticed when we stoped arguing, when we started to talk. Just talk.

Harry and Ron were not happy about my „mission". I spent every evening in my dreams with Malfoy and that bothered both of them. Ron the most. I tried to spend more time with them. At lunch, breaks between classes, but it was not enough. Every time I went to bed, they sulked.

At least they knew why I'm going to bed so early. Everybody else was just talking behind my back about it. At least for half of them I was sick. Half of that half thought I was about to die. I did not care.

One time when I realized that I actually are happy when it's time to go to sleep I freaked out. I stayed with Harry and Ron untill midnight, scared to go up to my room. The thought about me liking the time I spend with Malfoy scared the shit out of me. Boys were happy. They enjoyed the time with me but I could not care less about it. I was lost in my thoughts.

And to my surprise,when I did go to sleep , I found Malfoy at his desk waiting for me.

„You're late", he spat and went to bed.

I said nothing and just stared at him. Was he mad at me? Because I did not come as usually? Well, that scared me much more.


	4. Chapter 4

I found Draco, I mean Malfoy, at his room kicking his bed. He was obviously mad. His school stuff was scattered all across his room.

„Go away!" he shouted at me.

„What's wrong?" I was worried about him. This was the first time I saw him like this.

„Just go away! Leave me alone for one second that's all I ask! Is that too much to ask?" he was furious.

„I've been watched all the time. Just for once I want to be alone", Malfoy was wispering now and that scared me more than his anger.

„I can't leave you", I wispered back. „I'm sorry."

That was the truth. I could not leave him. I wanted to give him his alone time, but I needed to wake up for that and I went to sleep just now. The sleeping potions activity will end about 5 a.m. I had to stay. I wished so bad for Lavander to wake me up ,but that was a fools hope. To give him some privacy I turned invisible. That much I could do.

After an hour or so he finaly spoke.

„You can show your self now".

And I did.

„What's going on?" I truly wanted to know, so I could help him.

He said nothing and for a moment I was scared that he will start to shout once more.

„Fine. If you don't want to talk about it..."

„My mother's sick. And Dumbledore wants me to stay here. I mean she could die but I'm not allowed to see her for my own good," he placed his head in to his arms.

„I'm sorry", that was all I could say.

„You know you were a lot funnier when you tried to strangle me", he spat. „I don't need your sympathy."

„I think you do Draco".

For the first time in my life I said his name out loud. He just stared at me in disbelieve . I panicked and turned invisible again to hide my shame. I was Hermione Granger. And Hermione Granger must call him Malfoy.

„Don't hide", he wispered.

„I think your right. I do need you sympathy."

And I saw that scared boy again. Only this time he was scared for his mothers life not his own. For weeks I thought about him as two people. First as arrogant bastard he was in class and second, the boy in my dreams. They were so different. Malfoy in my dreams was scared and lonely.

„Please", he begged and I returned to my misty form.

„Do you want to talk about this?" I asked. „About your mother?"

„No. I just don't like to feel so weak. I mean I know I can't help her by showing up in were Death eaters are lining up to catch me but I want to see her so bad."

And then I realized that I can help him. It almost made me jump from joy.

„Malfoy..."

„What happened to Draco?" he smiled.

„Draco," I smiled too.

„Use your dreams."

„Of course! You're brilliant Granger!"

„Granger?"

„Oh don't push this too far!"

I pouted. He seamed not to notice that.

„You must know the potion and spell by heart right now. You are using them for months. What should I do?"

The thought that I'm breaking all the rules never crossed my mind. I wanted to help him so bad.

„Hmmm .... You need some ingredients for the potion. I could give them to you tomorrow at class. Can you wait till tomorrow?"

„Do I have a choice?"

„Well.... no."

„Ok. I can wait. It's better than nothing."

Malfoy relaxed and went to bed. When he fell asleep I could not controle myself and walked to stand beside his bed to look at him. He looked so peacfull when he slept. One strand of his blond hair lay across his forhead and I wanted to touch it. For the moment my hand reached towards him but I found the strenght to pull it back.

Did I like him? Did I? I think I did. Then I thought about my boyfriend. Oh yeah, I had one, his name was Ronald Weasley. How could I do this to him? I mentally slaped my self. I was in love in Draco Malfoy. There was no way to deny it. My heart would break if I lose him. Then I thought about Ron and I knew my heart would break if I lose him too. So there was only one explanation. I loved them both. Oh, how cliche Granger! You know you can't have them both! Great, now I was talking to myself.

Next day I sliped the ingredients for potion in to Malfoys bag. Nobody noticed. He did not look at me but shook his head a bit as to say thanx.

I was nervous all day and could not wait for classes to pass. As they did I run up to my room and went to bed immediately.

Malfoy... Draco... Oh who cares. He was waiting for me already.

„That was fast", he smiled at me and my heart melted. How stupid.

We made the potion together and he lay down in bed.

„Thank you", he said it like he meant it.

„You can thank me later. Just go!"

Only then the thought of me being expelled for this crossed my mind. But the damn boy smiled again and that thought vanished.

He fell asleep pretty quickly. And I had to stay here, in his room, with his motionless body.

I think that two hours passed when I could not take it anymore and started to call out his name to wake him up. I had to scream from the top of my lungs untill he finally came back.

The moment his eyes flung open he jumped of his bed and tried to hug me. Only his arms went straight throug me.

„Damn it!" he said and I giggled.

Then he slowly drew nearer his head to mine and put his lips to mine. It was not a real kiss but it felt like real to me, in my head.

„Did you felt it?" he asked me with a little hope in his eyes.

I did not felt it. I could not. My voice broke and all I could mumble was:

„I'm sorry".


	5. Chapter 5

We lay on the floor together side by side. Draco traced his fingers along my hand barely touching it, because there was no point. But I liked it anyway. I could imagine I can feel it.

„I wish I could feel you", Draco said my thoughts out loud.

„I wish for that too", I smiled.

We were in our own world. In the reality the world was the same as always. We never talked in classrooms or corridors. He was Malfoy and I was Granger there. But here we were Draco and Hermione. We never bothered to bring that to real world. We knew it will not work. We wasn't stupid.

Few times Draco stoped in the corridor before me like he wanted to speak to me. His palms were in fists, like he tried to stop himself for reaching for me. We just looked at each other in silence and then he left. There was no point. But we had this. Every evening and every night. It was enough.

„I'm not scared anymore. Because you're here", Draco wispered.

„Scared?"

„I'm not scared from dieing Hermione. I know they'll find me".

„Dumbledore will protect you", I was convincing myself more than him.

„Dumbledore can't protect me forever", he smirked.

„Please", I pled.

„What do you want to talk about then?" Draco smiled at me.

I loved his smile. It was so light.

„Weaslay is one lucky bastard!" he sneered.

„I don't think that I deserve him."

„Yeah, you deserve someone better."

„No Draco, he does", I wispered.

We lay for a while there in silence. The last thing I wanted to think about was Ron now and I don't think Draco wanted to think about him too.

„This is not real", he broke the silence.

„No it's not", I shook my head.

Draco stood up and went to his bed. He said nothing. After a while his breath changed and I knew he fell asleep. I stayed there. Watching over him, like always.


	6. Chapter 6

It was a great Saturday. Me , Ron and Harry had a great day at Hogsmeade. Just as we came back and reached the great hall , prof. Dumbledore came running towards us.

„Miss Granger, Mr. Malfoy is missing. If you please..."

But that was all I heard because I was already running up the stairs to my room. Ron and Harry followed me.

„Ok", I said as I started to mix the potion.

„Give me fifteen minutes after I fall asleep. Then wake me up."

They noded their heads and I drank the potion. It took control over me in about three minutes. Thank God for potions.

„Draco!" I shouted when I saw him in the dark room. Unknown to me.

„Hermione! You found me!" he rushed by my side and tried to hug me.

„I hate this part", he was frustrated as his hands sliped trough me.

„Where are you?" I asked anxious.

„I don't know."

I saw in his eyes that he was not lying.

„What happened?" I tried to sound calm. He was in no need to know that I was scared to death.

„I wanted to go out for a bit. I drank the Polyjuice potion and went to Hogsmeade with my friends."

„Are you stupid Draco Malfoy?" I wished I could hit him. He deserved it for being so careless.

„I guess I am. When we were at „Three broomsticks" the potion started to wear of and when I went outside... Well I can't remember what happened then. It all went blank and I woke up here a few minutes ago."

„Draco..."

„I know, I was stupid and I'm sorry. Just get me out of here ok?"

„How? I don't know were you are!"

Then I started to wake up. Draco tried to reach for me.

„No", was the last thing I heard.

„Well?" it was Rons voice I heard next.

„I don't know were he is. The Death eaters have him. But he's ok. For now at least."

„How do you know that he is not there by his own will?" Harry was sceptic as always.

„I just know Harry," I looked at my arms. They started to tremble.

„What's the plan then?"Harry sighted.

„I have to go back. Don't wake me so fast this time ok? I have to find out were he is", I talked very fast, mixed the potion even faster and went back to Draco.

I found him on the floor. Unconscious. I was away for ten minutes. How could this happen? I knelt beside him.

„Draco? Draco?" I called his name. No response.

Then he started to wriggle like he was in pain.

„Draco?" I shouted one more time. He moaned.

„Are you hurt? Draco please. Say something. Please." I lay down next to him and tried to take his hand in mine. It went through mine but I did not care. That was enough.

I don't remember how long I lay there beside him, but it felt like hours until he moaned my name.

„I'm here", I wispered.

„No Avada Kedavra for me. They will not let me die that simple," he said in visible pain.

„Don't you dare talking about death, do you hear me?" I wispered in horror. I looked in his face. It was so pale and full with pain.

„I'm already dying Hermione".

„No! No, no, no! You hang on, ok? I get help. I will." I sobbed tearless.

„There's no time. They poisoned me. I'm sorry".

„For what?" I was confused.

„For leaving you", he groaned.

„Then stay," I almost ordered him. I could not let him die.

I was waking up when the only thought was to stay here with him.

„Don't go!" he pled.

I tried to hang on to him but I was already in my bed, all in tears.

„No!" I shouted.

„I have to go back. He needs me." I sobbed with tears now. My heart was breaking from the pain.

„What's wrong Hermione?" Harry shook me.

„He's dying. He needs me", my vioce broke and the new set of tears flowed from my eyes.

Harry and Ron just wached me.

„We always tried to see the bad in him so hard, that we actually missed the good he has inside. We have to help him!"I pled.

„You love him", Ron wispered. That was not a question. That was a statement.

„Yes", I grabed Rons hand when he started to back away from me. „I love you too. It's complicated. But I know I love you."

This was the first time I said I love you to Ron, but I said that I loved someone else also. I felt sick.

Ginny ran in my room.

„Dumbledore said that I have to tell you that they found Malfoy. He's in Shrieking Shack", she looked at us confused. I was in tears and Ron stood in the corner of the room not knowing what to do with himself.

„I have to go!" I climbed out of the bed, then Rons arms stoped me.

„You love me?"

„Yes!" I wispered.

„But you will go to him anyway?"

„He's dying Ron. Please ..."

„We're going with you", Harry said and took my hand.

„Move!"

We stumbled inside of the tunel which led to the Shrieking Shack. I forbade myself of thinking that Darco is dead or that he is dying. I concentrated on the good thoughts – that Dumbledore must be with him right now and that he made Dracos pain to go away.

We heard muffled voices when we entered the shack at last. I rushed to the room from which the voices came. My head was spinning.

„Please", I wispered but found Draco on the floor and Snape kneeling besides him. Dumbledore guarded the two unconscious Death eaters in the corner of the room.

„Help him. Please help him", I knelt besides Snape.

„I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do. There's no antidote", Snapes voice was distant and I saw that he was crying too.

„Hermione", Draco wispered and Snape stood up, leaving us both on to the floor alone.

„I'm here", I did not cry. I had to be brave. For him.

I leant down and touched his lips with mine.

„I can feel you", he breathed heavily.

„Yes Draco, you can," I started to cry hysterical as he took his last breath.


	7. Epiloge

**EPILOGUE**

It was three months since that day. And I still missed him. How come I missed him? I never had him. He was like a fictional character to me. He was a boy from my dreams. It was not real.

I needed two weeks to stop mixing the potion before I went to bed. It took two weeks to realize, those dreams will not take me to him. But normal dreams could. It only took one little dream about him at night and I could take the day with ease. I could live as long as he stayed there, in my dreams.

**A.N. Thanks to everyone who read this story. I hope you liked it. Can't wait to hear your thoughts.**


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